Drift XII. Self Sacrifice

A rainy, gloomy afternoon

Location: current apartment

Out of nowhere, I got a deadly communicable disease and needed to end my own life to protect people around me. I had no idea how to do it, so started off by stabbing myself with a knife - I cut open my forearms, neck, still not dying...so I stabbed myself in my heart. Finally feeling tired...yet I could not sleep. So I decided to drag my half-dead body to greet my family one last time.

To dad: hug, I love you. - Love you too
To Mom: hug, I love you. - Love you too
To Lex (who was just sitting in the corner, looking rather like 18yr old Lex): bye bro, love you
To Grandpa: hug, I love you, quit smoking - Love you too, I'll smoke less, and swim more
To Grandma (she was cooking in the kitchen - somehow this is her kitchen in reality): hug, I love you. - I love you too, my dear grand daughter...and she slowly stroke and patted on my back...

Then that was the trigger, I started sobbing so hard that I woke up.
At least they'll all be safe.

Funny how this was a picture used by an old friend as screensaver a long time ago...

Drift XI. Family

No specific timeline

Location: An apartment supposedly shared by Sis Shuang, Grandpa Tian, and me

In the dream, sister and I were living with Grandpa. He was very ill, and we knew he didn't have much time left. He passed away, we were deeply saddened. However, when we came back from outside, sister touched grandpa, who lay still in bed - yet after the touch, he started coughing, and came back to life! I noticed the weird expression on uncle's face - his share of inheritance is gone again.

Sister and I cried our happy tears, and hugged Grandpa. I cried so hard that I woke up. It took me a good few minutes to realize what's really going on. I cried harder because in reality, Grandpa Tian & Sis Shuang both passed away. And uncle was someone I swore I'd never talk to again.

http://susancushman.com/mental-health-monday-happy-happy-monday/art-happy-sadness-favim-com-407510/

Drift X. The Love Letter

A dark evening

Location: Sun Yat-Sen University Student Activity Center

Funny enough, I never stopped fantasizing about him in reality or in my dreams - used to refer to him as "@". I haven't seen him since 2005 - by now it's 9 years ago. So in my dreams he's still a teenager, tall, slim, tanned, with some trace of naiveness and a lot of uncomfortable, acquired maturity. In this dream, we were young again, sitting together as classmates again.

He liked me in the dream, so when he quietly pushed two letters across the table to me, I knew what I could find in there. I only have time to open one letter, and my consciousness already started bursting in: it's just a dream! wake up now! you're waking up anyway!  My subconsciousness was screaming, trying to read the letter before reality flood into my mind...

But the excitement of reading the unknown accelerated the awakening process. I ended up lying in bed, furious, without a clue what was in that letter (love! his confession! must be!). Oh bye bye, till next dream.

柏原崇 in 情书